Lord Im Five Thousand Miles Away From Home !!
I wanna go home ...
Update:
Not a shirt to my back, not a penny to my name
Lord I can't go back home this a way !!!
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Ideology Change
I'm going through a process of ideology change I think ... I no longer feel that I am a firm believer in the principle of rationality and scientific thinking. I am beginning to see that there are certain things that are beyond the comprehension of the rational mind and need to be taken care of by the heart, instinct, gut ... whatever you call it ...
So I will be revamping the structure of this page quite a bit soon ...
So I will be revamping the structure of this page quite a bit soon ...
Addicted
To Coffee ?? I feel like drinking coffee all the time ... It is the way I find relaxation and peace of mind in these turbulent times ... Am I going insane ??
Update: I do not actually have coffee 25 times a day. I just feel like. I have it only twice.
Update: I do not actually have coffee 25 times a day. I just feel like. I have it only twice.
Chaos
... not just in my mind but also elsewhere in the Universe. Chaos - The Making of A New Science - amazing book ... just started reading this week. By James Gleick. It is science and non-fiction but written with amazing clarity and simplicity.
Just to make things clearer ... remember that stuff about "A butterfly flapping its wings in China can affect the wheat production in Indonesia and cause thunderstorms in New YorK" ? ... well it is about that stuff ... although let me warn you the above is not literally true ... or is it ??
Just to make things clearer ... remember that stuff about "A butterfly flapping its wings in China can affect the wheat production in Indonesia and cause thunderstorms in New YorK" ? ... well it is about that stuff ... although let me warn you the above is not literally true ... or is it ??
:(
Feeling low again. This is how I feel every morning these days and fortuantely/unfortunately it changes dramatically in the evenings to being hopeful ... weird cycle that I need to get out of. Have no work to do, missing home ... missing friends ?? ... I don't think so ... just the fact that I have very little clue what I want to do with my life
An empty mind is the devil's workshop .... Gimme some work to do !!!
An empty mind is the devil's workshop .... Gimme some work to do !!!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham
The old saying which has been brought into disrepute as a result of being entitled upon a mediocre film. That does not however take away from the veracity of it.
Sitting alone in a distant land, doing nothing, pondering and worrying about the future, longing for home, and at the same time eager to find that place of eternal joy and fulfillment in life, it is natural to connect to the Internet and start Orkutting or browsing people's blogs - and then the realization dawns - that the World is not against you and that you are not the victim of some wicked conspiracy - (wow ! Just realized I tend to write much more fluently if I let it flow rather than go for well-thought constructions) - anyway, you realize that everyone wants the same things in life - joy, achievement, love, home and is struggling in his/her own way through difficult times in that particular quest. Kind of makes you ashamed of yourself for brooding over less serious problems when you read some of what people are going through - also makes you realize that there is no shame in being uncertain, groping about and insecure and also in admitting it openly.
Back to that good old (non)movie title - the happinesses and sorrows of the World flip-flop more frequently than I thought - I imagined it would be a period of a few weeks or months - but the more I think of it - it can vary every half an hour or so - because after all, so much of it depends on what you choose it to be. Like those other eternal truths, beauty and trouble they too lie in the eyes of the beholder.
Sitting alone in a distant land, doing nothing, pondering and worrying about the future, longing for home, and at the same time eager to find that place of eternal joy and fulfillment in life, it is natural to connect to the Internet and start Orkutting or browsing people's blogs - and then the realization dawns - that the World is not against you and that you are not the victim of some wicked conspiracy - (wow ! Just realized I tend to write much more fluently if I let it flow rather than go for well-thought constructions) - anyway, you realize that everyone wants the same things in life - joy, achievement, love, home and is struggling in his/her own way through difficult times in that particular quest. Kind of makes you ashamed of yourself for brooding over less serious problems when you read some of what people are going through - also makes you realize that there is no shame in being uncertain, groping about and insecure and also in admitting it openly.
Back to that good old (non)movie title - the happinesses and sorrows of the World flip-flop more frequently than I thought - I imagined it would be a period of a few weeks or months - but the more I think of it - it can vary every half an hour or so - because after all, so much of it depends on what you choose it to be. Like those other eternal truths, beauty and trouble they too lie in the eyes of the beholder.
Friday, June 24, 2005
Faith
There comes a time in life when one feels the need to believe in faith.
Being a rational and scientific-minded person I was of the opinion that everything had a rational explanation, that with sufficient effort one can, with the assistance of nothing but one's mind work out any circumstance he encounters.
But today I realize that one needs to have faith at least to believe in him/herself. That whatever actions one takes (s)he shall hold him/herself accountable and have the courage to keep going ahead unwavering.
Being a rational and scientific-minded person I was of the opinion that everything had a rational explanation, that with sufficient effort one can, with the assistance of nothing but one's mind work out any circumstance he encounters.
But today I realize that one needs to have faith at least to believe in him/herself. That whatever actions one takes (s)he shall hold him/herself accountable and have the courage to keep going ahead unwavering.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
"So What's Your Plan ?"
When you are 23, single and just out of school that is often the most exclusive and frightening question you are attacked with. With time you develop your defenses and have at your disposal a ready response to shut off the questioners.
But yesterday I discovered that the weapon is not quite exclusively designed to attack and knock the sails out off the aforementioned category of persons. It is a universal irritant that can be employed against anyone by anyone at anytime.
I was exhausted after manfully defending against it for the last few days. Then in front of my eyes and to my astonishment, it was directed at my six-year old cousin !!! "So what's your plan for the summer ??" Poor chap - he replied earnestly after much thought - swimming in the pool, playing computer games - but that was simply not a good enough defense !! A more detailed explanation was demanded of the nature of the computer games - why and which and what else ??
Take a chill pill people !!!
But yesterday I discovered that the weapon is not quite exclusively designed to attack and knock the sails out off the aforementioned category of persons. It is a universal irritant that can be employed against anyone by anyone at anytime.
I was exhausted after manfully defending against it for the last few days. Then in front of my eyes and to my astonishment, it was directed at my six-year old cousin !!! "So what's your plan for the summer ??" Poor chap - he replied earnestly after much thought - swimming in the pool, playing computer games - but that was simply not a good enough defense !! A more detailed explanation was demanded of the nature of the computer games - why and which and what else ??
Take a chill pill people !!!
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